Donald Trump Never Stood A Chance…

The Donald Trump takedown America has been waiting for has finally happened courtesy of Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver.

On Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver starts off by saying he couldn’t believe that the main story for the night would be about Donald Trump. The host starts the show by saying, “Our main story tonight, and I cannot believe I’m saying this—is Donald Trump.” Oliver fired the first shot by adding, “And I say that…knowing that every time his name is said out loud he [Trump] has a shattering orgasm.” The audience bursts into laughter and the most glorious roasting of Donald Trump officially begins.

According to John Oliver, the show has largely ignored Donald Trump, despite Trump’s claims that a certain John Oliver has been trying to get him on the show at least 4 or 5 times. Impressed by Donald Trump’s confidence, John Oliver tells his audience he actually had to check with his staff to make sure nobody accidentally invited Trump to the show. However, as public interest (and dare we say, public SUPPORT) for Trump has increased the Last Week Tonight host now feels the need to address the outspoken businessman’s bid for candidacy.

Oliver goes on a tirade and compares Trump to a back mole saying, “But he has now won three states, has been endorsed by Chris Christie, and polls show him leading most Super Tuesday states, which is a big deal”, Oliver went on to add, “at this point Donald Trump is America’s back mole. He may have seemed harmless a year ago but now that it’s growing frighteningly bigger it is no longer wise to ignore it.” Oliver also mentioned that since 1988, all of the candidates that have won the most states on Super Tuesday have gone on to become their party’s nominee. This could give Trump a real shot at the Presidency.

The talk show host then shows clips from various news outlets of Trump’s supporters talking about why they like him. Below are some of these reasons:

  • We like him. He tells it like it is.
  • He says what he means. I, I honestly think he’s telling the truth.
  • He’s funding his own campaign. Nobody owns him.
  • He’s aggressive. He’s strong and he’s bold
  • I think he’s an incredible businessman. If he runs the country like he runs his organization, we would be in good shape.

Oliver for one says that he understands Trump’s supporters as there is even a part of him that likes the guy. John Oliver concedes that Donald Trump is unpredictable and entertaining, two things that make most public personalities endearing to the masses but two things that do not necessarily speak well about a Presidential candidate.

John Oliver then proceeds to comically, but rather savagely, refute all these points. The host points out that while Trump projects an image of being a straight-talker, the website Politifact has checked Trumps claims and has found 76% of those statements to be varying degrees of false. Oliver also tells a story of Trump being so thin skinned that years after a scathing headline was made about him, he still writes to the editor on occasion to prove the editor wrong. The topic that has Trumps panties all up in a bunch? The length of his fingers.

The 20 minute video ends with John Oliver inviting the viewers to join his campaign to remove the veil of the illusion of the TRUMP name by referring to Donald Trump by his old family name—Drumpf. Oliver then announced the launch of #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain and the website